Caribbean Jokes from forwards...cleaning out my mailbox

Grenadian Interpretation

USA: Here Kitty kitty.. get down from the roof. Grenada: Ey yuh ole
dutty stinkin cyat, come off de bleddy gyalvanize before ah drop
two stone in yuh ass!

USA: Aren't those pants a bit short? Grenada: Yuh expekin flood or
wha?

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that. Grenada: Buh wha
trouble is dis? Boy stop flingin meh grip so.

USA: Lift the hood of the car for me John. Grenada: Yute-man, fly
de bonnet nuh!

USA: I love you girl. Grenada: Ah rell check fuh yuh, yuh know.

USA: Oh the poor little boy is handicap. Grenada: Look at de lil
invalid...

USA: It's time for a perm. Grenada: Gyul , yuh head need
straightenin bad. Yuh doh see all de gren-gren showin.

USA: I have a stomach ache. Grenada: Oh gorm..............meh belly
gripein meh.

USA: He has no manners. Grenada: He doh have no broughtupcy.

USA: WOW!...........he has such a bad body odor Grenada: Yuh
doesn't bade?.......oh sh*t man...... yuh smellin stink!

USA: Josh is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder. Grenada:
Dat chile too dam harden.

USA: He has a touch of Dyslexia. Grenada: He duncee fuh so.

USA: I need a bottle of Peptobismol...my stomach hurts. Grenada: Ah
need ah wash out bad...ah cork up.

USA: It's been a long time since I've seen you girl. Grenada:
A..A...! You still alive gyul?

USA: Oh my goodness, we have lost electricity. Grenada:
.....current gorn again.

USA: This meal is not too bad. Grenada: Wha doh kill does fatten
and wha doh fatten does purge.

USA: Oh my, your feet are so ashy. Grenada:Is how yuh foot and dem
look like yuh was kickin flour so...yuh couldn't a rub lil coconut
oil on yuh foot?

(ok.. so they have a slight tendency of being blunt and lack a lil' etiquette in some cases)

Trini Joke

An Trini guy, a guyanese man, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and .. it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl and the Triniguy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Guyanese is bent over holdinghis face which is red from an apparent slap.

The old woman is thinking : That guyanese guy must have tried to kiss that girland got slapped.

The guyanese is thinking : "Damn it,that Trini guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me and slapped me instead."

The beautiful girl is thinking : "That guyanese must have moved to kiss me,but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."

The Trini is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that guyanese again.


A Simple Friend vs A Real Friend vs A Caribbean Friend


A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND CAUSE DE DAMN TEARS IN DE FUS PLACE


A simple friend doesn't know your parent's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND KNOW WHERE DEY LIVIN', WHAT DEY COOKIN' ON WHAT DAY, AND
WILL SHOW UP AT THEIR DOORSTEPS (added: eat dey food, bring some home in dey plastic (sunflower butter) container and never bring it back)

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND COME LATE, BRING A SET OF PEOPLE AND THEN TALK ABOUT YOU WHEN ALL DE FOOD AND BOOZE DONE

A simple friend hates it when you call after they have gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND SCREENIN' DE CALL AND DOH ANSWER WHEN IS YOU

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND WILL LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS AND CRY WID YOU, EVEN OFFER TO HELP YOU, THEN TELL EVERYBODY AND ADD A LITTLE MORE JUICE TO THE STORY

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history,
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A CARIBBEAN FRIEND WILL BLACKMAIL YOU AND STILL TELL EVERYBODY

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
OH GOSH...A CARIBBEAN FRIEND OPEN YUH FRIDGE, CLEAN IT OUT, COMPLAIN YUH AIN'T HAVE ENOUGH, THEN TELL DE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD DEY MOUTH WAS DRY

(that's what friends are for?)


West Indians (not really a joke... just W.I. pride)

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher,

Their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however,one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud West Indian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.

She asks Gita why she is a West Indian.

"Well, my mom and dad are West Indians, so I'm a West Indian too.

The teacher is now angry,"That's no reason", she says loudly
"if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be
then?" A pause, and a smile . "Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American."


Rasta Application
>>~~~~Application and Interview~~~~>>
Name: Bobo Dread Amaka Baka Fari

Age: I man no count birtday

Date of birth: Mi sey Rasta noh deal wid dem tings mon

Address: uppa di hills a Wesmorlan

Tel No.: I man no participate in di Babylon system

Marital Status: single married

No. of children: I an I hav nuff common law wit 21 lickle soljas a run roun' di island

Occupation: Sell Jelly coconut pan Spanish town road and gunja outta mi kitchen winda

Company Name: I man nuh keep company, yuh nuh see it

Present position: Mi like di lizard lap position, but mi open to any adda position.


Financial Information --> Average monthly income: depends pan di season n' di demands fi di weed, sometimes business slow an ting.

Credit Reference: Mor' Fyah!!! I man no deal wit credit... strictly up front dollas a do it.

Unsecured Overdraft limit: Chat H'english.... A wha di rass dat mean?

Overdraft limit: Mi seh yuh fi chat English.

Personal loan amount: Tony owe mi bout 40gran... a gwine buss im clautwhen mi buck im up... watch mi an im.

Monthly payment: Ask Tony... cause a monts now mi nuh si not a cent fram im.

No. Of Payments outstanding: Yuh def!! Mi sey Tony nuh gi mi back mi money so all a it outstanding!!!

Loan amount: Mi nah pay mortgage fi mi zinc shed.... is I man buil'dat.

Monthly Payment: yuh come back a ask di same foolishness.

No. Of monthly payment outstanding: is wha' do dis ooman? MI SEY TONY NUH PAY MI YET!!!

This interview is over~~~ Application for Loan~~~~DENIED>>GOH WEH!!!... unu hypocrite and sadomite unu!!